I love in spite of it all

then you spit it in my face.

Back washed and scrubbed of all marks that could suggest a touch

You’re spilling outwards-in

A hairline fracture human being that is so delicately made I wish only for you to know how it feel to fall without shattering

I think nuance is overrated anyway.

Just humour me will you

Let me laugh alongside you, I’m almost adjacent to it

this feeling I can smell in the air, it caught in peoples hair

perpendicular

these horizons keep stretching their tired muscles just out of reach

I know they weren’t meant for me

or anyone really

but wouldn’t it be nice to taste it just once

how do you solve a problem like that

finding X’s and O’s at the end of rural roads

tracing lines through paper made fields

you’re my topography

my points of reference

out by .4 of a centimetre

I think punctuation is over-rated anyway

I imagine Allen Ginsburg reading my poems and laughing

and it keeps me going

turning in my sleep

rolling in the 6 foot deep.

Please for the love of god don’t take yourself so seriously.

It doesn’t go with your outfit.

Take Maria for example.

She’s a charcuterie board woman

made for grazing and picking.

Eat her jellies and her jam,

leave only a handful of almonds to appease some god we can’t remember the name of but can feel in the breeze.

Cheese.

Jeez,

Calm down.

Perk up.

Smile

Say “please”

Sir may I have some.

No more.

No less.

Unless?

You know how it goes

all the way to the end

If we can find it that is.

I trust in things that are founded in iron & bronze

We are gilded in this moment

Galvanised in a grotesque miscarriage of too many feelings yet it feels like its not enough.

Tough titties, you would say

in a tone that would only make me angrier.

I’m losing touch with this side of myself that I could so easily name

and I’m mourning the dead parts of myself I thought would stay

Wailing their names onto parchments of mercury gold

lying to myself through gritted teeth

saying that its all going to be okay.

Is that okay?